Amazing Love

I sit here in my one bedroom apartment while my mind shifts through every emotion possible. Just recently I shared some great news involving my internship, which is something I'm very grateful and excited for. But even more recently, I found out some information involving one of my best friends of 7 years. While this information is private, it is something that is really hard for me to deal with. It's heartbreaking, infuriating, confusing- something hard for people to truly understand how it is affecting me. I'm having to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. So I sit here, begging God to heal my hurt, heal my spirit, and give me guidance. Even more, I ask Him why I sit here with a broken heart after giving so much for my best friend. Loving them unconditionally. Why? Why do I have to let them go? This doesn't seem fair.

As humans, we falter. We sometimes hurt the people close to us. As I sit here, I wonder how God does it. I wonder how He gives us unlimited chances when we hurt Him everyday. How He can give us His grace and forgiveness everyday. God's unconditional love seems unfathomable. Because as humans, even if we love someone "unconditionally" and that person continues to fail you and hurt you, you and the people close to you label that person as 'toxic'. We give up on them and remove them from our lives. And I think sometimes that's okay. I don't think that as humans we have the ability to love as God does. Because God is perfect. His love is amazing. God gives and He takes away. Sometimes people, even if we love them, can't move with us towards what God has in store for us.

I've come to realize that I can't truly love someone like God does. I thought that I could. But only God has perfect love. We can try, but we will always fail each other. But God doesn't fail us. So now, I also sit here thankful for God's Amazing Love. That no matter what, no matter how stubborn I am, God still lavishes me with His grace and forgiveness. I sit here with a drive to do better, be better. I trust that God knows all, and that God is in control. Even if it absolutely sucks. So I encourage anyone fighting a battle right now to pray zealously, and continue to remind yourself that better things are ahead. It may take days, weeks, months, but you will get through this. God's love for you is perfect and amazing. Keep going.