Expecting Perfection

             I've come to realize that while we know that nobody's perfect, we still seem to expect people to be. We say "I don't judge others", "I'm not judging you", and "Only God can truly judge us". I've said that to many of the people closest to me. They say, "Quit judging me," and I assure them that I'm not. How often, though, do we hear about someone making a decision or a mistake that is considered bad, inappropriate, or unorthodox and think, "Man, that was wrong. They shouldn't have done that. I can't believe they did that." We automatically judge them.
            It's our human nature. We will judge people either willingly or subconsciously. After going through a tough break up recently, I've gone through thoughts like "Why didn't he treat me better?", "Why did he do that? He shouldn't have," and "If he would have just done things differently we wouldn't have broken up." I don't want y'all to think this is a sappy break up post, because it's not. I've just come to realize how natural it is to blame others or criticize people in our lives for what they did or what happened to us. When someone in our life hurts us, it's very easy to be disappointed in them and say it was their fault. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Matthew 7:5 which says, "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your friend's eye." I need to first figure out what I did wrong, how I failed, and how I can improve. God will work on the other person, and only through God can we truly help the other people in our life. With love, forgiveness, compassion, and mercy. 
             I take the relationships in my life very seriously. I make it a priority to keep each one healthy and to make sure each person close to me knows how much I care about them to my best ability. With that, though, comes expectations. Everyone has expectations with the close people in their life. Most of the time, significant other relationships have the highest expectations. We always have expectations of how to be treated, how to treat them, their actions, their words, and their commitment. It seems almost unnatural to not have any expectations. Each person is unique in how they treat others and how they show/receive love, such as through words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and touch. One concept that has really resonated with me within the past 6 months is the fact that we have to learn how the people in our lives show love and receive love. I show love differently than my best friend does, and I receive love differently than her just as much. Once I received this concept, I realized how much importance this has in every close relationship. Whether it's with parents, sibling, friends, or a significant other. Before I really understood this, I kept having difficulties in my relationships because of these differences.
            After I learned about that concept and grasping it, I made it a priority to figure out each person's unique system in my life. I've worked super hard to cater to each individual's needs. But I've learned that not everyone will take it near as seriously as you do. I had the expectation that the other person would try just as hard to do that for me. We had talked about it, I told them how I received love. No matter how much I made it clear, it wouldn't be reciprocated. Maybe that's because they just weren't as close with me as I thought, or they didn't care, or whatever it was, but even then I can't blame them. I did everything I could for them, and if it still wasn't good enough, it wasn't good enough. But I can't keep expecting people to be perfect. Sometimes I need to change those expectations. I need to try to be focused more understanding and forgiving rather than judging. I need to work on myself. I just need to love.